b'30JUNIOR CUSACK ESSAY WINNERBY STUDENT CAMERON DOYLEHappiness can be found evenIf Im being wholly honest, I sometimes wonder if I ever knew Alex because I never would have believed that he in the darkest of times if one onlywould have done something so horrifying.I left home remembers to turn on the light. on an empty stomach and on my trusty and rusty bike.I raced to Alexs house and from outside Death comes to us all. his estate a shrill siren sounded.Inside the Somehow, however, we never expect that time willestate lights flashed blue, then red, blue, come to us or our loved ones.I certainly didnt expect it to come so soon.Im Chris and this is the story of mythen red.As I approached the house,descent into madness followed by my slow climb out ofI witnessed a pair of paramedics wheeling that sea of despair. out a rusty gurney with a blood-stainedOn August 25th, 2009, my best friend Alex took his ownsheet tossed over a splayed figure. life.When I first heard, I thought it was some sort of cruel joke.Firstly, allow me to set the scene.Alex andSuits travelled in and out, emotionless.Alexs mother I had been friends since first year.Alex was a happy,stood weeping and telling a police officer Alexs story confident person with big dreams and a fantastic sensebut he didnt care.No one did but us.If you lose your of humour.He was a class clown, albeit an intelligenthusband, youre a widow, if you lose your wife, youre a one, always quick on his feet with witty responses andwidower, if you lose your parents youre an orphan but if comebacks.I enjoyed the comic relief while othersyou lose a child, yourelost?forgotten?I guess thats thought it was sometimes in poor taste, but Alexs mottosubjective.However, at that moment I hadnt begun was, You can joke about anything because withoutto feel personal guilt, yet I felt an immense sadness for humour the world would be an awfully dark place.AlexAlexs mum.Suddenly I was overcome by a wave of had wanted to become a comedian in the future.emotion; the first of my four stages of grief. Back to August twenty fifth when I received a call fromSadness: Alexs mother to say Alex had bled out in awarm bath late last night after harming himself.I started at two splatters of blood on the ground from I knew Alexs mum well as I had often visited his house. a nearby wall for what felt like a lifetime as white suites Actually, now that I came to think of it, I didnt reallycame and went and eventually went for good.I hopped know her properly at all, in fact I didnt even know herdown but I guess my body wasnt ready to cope with this Christian name. sudden disaster.'